Winged Messenger: Spirit Above The Challenge (FULL STORY)
Winged Messenger: Spirit Above The Challenge (FULL STORY)
What you’re about to read is the first chapter of Winged Messenger: Spirit Above the Challenge. The human side of me. It’s what leads me here, it’s why my views are strong. My attitude has changed since writing this book. I wouldn’t call myself compassionate anymore for good reason. I don’t trust anyone unless they give me reason to trust. Trust is earned, not a birthright. I wrote this book before Katy Perry launched her attack on everything I built. You will understand why her destroying all I created mattered to me., Why I will not back down or stop holding her accountable.
Once you read it, ask yourself about me and governments., Why is the government so afraid of me., Governments have hoped that people believe I am crazy because then no one would believe what I say about them? No matter if I mention what they do, or regarding ALIENS, look at the front page. Those documents are government documents.,
Anyone who’s met me knows that’s a ridiculous assumption., Read the book join the dots. The only one crazy are governments who think it’s ok to treat people how they do, actually arrogant enough to think no one will ever stand up to them., I did it all on my tod., You do not see me holding anyone’s hand for moral support, or a gallon of alchol or drugs for dutch courage.
Compassion is just a word that we all use to tell ourselves we are good. It’s how we lie to ourselves., If compassion lived in government or the music industry, I am sure what came after my first daughter, i.e. my second daughter and the destruction of 7 companies, would not have happened., Compassion is a false statement, a meaningless word that’s used to deceive others for financial gain., Actions speak louder., Actions are truth.,
Message from the NINE & the 24 Heads.,
The issue these beings face, they believed they were using the law of creation to manipulate SEVEN’s will against themselves, in self service to themselves. Which means SEVEN gives over their free will their choice., This is incorrect if that were the case SEVEN would not be saying all.,
They are in violation of the one law. A soul must agree by their own choice, their own free will., This did not occur, they broke all areas of this law., SEVEN agreed by their own nature to allow the law of infinity to take its course. Justice will be served. In so doing, the case won by SEVEN., SEVEN remained aligned with the law of infinity.,
The actions followed were done in complete violation of the law of one., If they had stuck to the original outcome and made no other attempt on this child’s life or SEVEN, then they would have been in alignment with the law of creation in service to self.,
Every action that followed until the present day has been done in violation of the infinite creator’s law., From this one thing., If they had left alone after SEVEN being victorious in court., None of this would be valid., No laws broken., SEVEN has remained aligned with the infinite creators’ law., Justified action given over to SEVEN., The NINE, the 24 heads must finalise SEVENS’ final command., Be it negative or positive upon those in question.,
We speak of the child known as Cheyenne. The crimes done against Chelsea come into effect because of the violation we speak above., How does this affect AMERICA? Katy’s involvement within the violation above, the link AMERICA., the overdue violation on the entire nation for the violation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, a severe violation of law.,
Certified Transformation Life Coach and Spiritual teacher with more than 20 years’ experience. Specialised in recognising the positive within every negative. Utilising that as unique spring board to achieve any outcome.
Teaching through unusual methods he stumbled upon, helping anyone to discover their hidden confidence which he understands this is the first foundation step to reaching achievements in life.
He first began his journey as a driver and Personal bodyguard to Iconic Frank Sinatra’s cousin Nicolas Sinatra whilst based in Hendon, London. Connection was established through Jayce’s American surrogate Nan Kathleen Lorna Middleton. Jayce began as Nicolas’s personal driver promoted to personal bodyguard.
In 1990 Jayce came from one creative idea and generated the support of hundreds of people to help him fulfil the team’s mission to help Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital. Where Jayce and world champion boxer John Conteh presented the money.
Jayce was the founder and creator of the Registered Charity Child Remembrance Fund During the years 1997 to 2004.
He went on to create EasyGetMe Records, EasyGetMe R&B, MasterMataz Records, BeatPulse Media, BeatPulse Magazine, BeatStyle Fashion Magazine, Jaycer Fashion.
You Are One Thought Away From Change Introduction
In the beginning a girl an angel walked into my life suddenly one summers morning. I loved her with all my heart.
Life changed, an accident occurred she died. My life was torn apart. She left me with a decision. Jay you can follow behind me or live your dream? She lives inside my heart every day pushing me forward, when I smile, she is smiling.
Here is where I was, here is how I got through, here is what shifted my life, and here is what you can do also.
Life is waiting for the good that is within all humans on earth, to blossom life, a beautiful flow in its greatest moment in life.
This book has been written for the first time, to help and inspire those in life, that are going through something bad, and not sure how to help themselves, I present you with the worst time in my life, to show you, yes! You can do this. If I can, so can you.
What was the toughest time that I got through in my life?
The death of Chelsea, my daughter – the day the world was not the same again, and the whole process of her body being held for autopsy for a month. I experienced friends disappearing from my life because they had no idea what to say, and they thought it was easier to leave. It was easier for them, but they had no awareness of what damage they were adding to the pain.
After everything happened, some friends, a couple who was having a baby at the same time as us, invited us to their house a week into this whole situation. More of our friends were invited as well. The whole evening was about a film that they so wanted to share with us all.
How ironic that the film was about how a couple who had lost their child and the pain they went through. Whatever brings people to do such a hurtful thing was beyond my thinking. At the time, we still had not buried my daughter.
So many things were happening, and it showed how clueless people were in these situations.
I am still biting my tongue at this moment of disbelief; one day that couple divorced, and I gave one of them a place to live.
One would think I would have walked away from them the night of that film. Yeah, so true, but people make bad choices in life. Should we punish such ignorance? No, even though it certainly felt that way from my end.
Plus, there was a real boomerang effect happening all around. They were the same couple that had asked a stupid question of us all during the nine months before my daughter’s birth (What would you do if your child died?
How would it affect you?). Well, how stupid was I to even entertain such a question? That’s why I hold myself in full responsibility for what happened. I have no one to blame but myself.
We are what we think about; we become what we give focus to. Words have more power in life than we could realize, and for me, this demonstrates such power within our words, thoughts, and ideas.
Many look at laws of attraction as make believe, but I really Do see what we can achieve. From that night as I described what it would feel like to me, what I would do. I put myself in the place of someone that it had happened to so that I could feel what it would be like, and that’s how I answered that question.
Yes, I was stupid to do so. At the time, I had no knowledge that my words had real power. Worst of all was how I simulated such emotions, which is a big key to this. At her funeral, I carried her coffin alone, with my father walking beside me in case I didn’t make it. He was like my back up plan I never knew about at the time. Her funeral was done inside a spiritualist church. At the time, I had lost all faith that there was any kind of god, and I saw religions as the so-called devil, at the time.
You ask yourself daily, “Why would a loving god put you through such pain and trauma?” All are natural feelings to go through. The “Why?” question is so big.
I would surely not be who I am today if it was not for that “Why”. I won’t settle until I have the answer. Maybe I was too difficult from childhood. If I was told no, I would always follow through with the reply, “why?”
Even when I got an answer, I would still want to know why. The greatest tool I had in life was why. If I had more children today, I would encourage them to ask why, and keep asking, even if they’re told to stop.
Great knowledge and wisdom can come from that single word. True learning and growth come from why. If you stop asking, you have stopped growing by the sheer acceptance that all is just how it should be. How can anyone learn from accepting every answer given? You cannot.
And through different junctions of this disaster that had hit my life, I was about to learn the harsh reality of many systems and personalities I would come across. I watched how doctors were so scared of being sued that they did make mistakes that night, but what I learned was what lengths a system would steep to go, to hide from the world their mistakes.
I sure would have been happier for them to admit there was mistake, hands up, and say I am sorry. That would have been the end, “closure,” and no money would have been involved. For me, that would have cured more pain that followed because of what happened.
Money has no meaning in this situation, but more truthfulness and transparency of why it happened and acceptance of those mistakes does. Now, yes, how I explain what a stupid question I answered months before is the key factor in this, but on that final day, the things they did and did not do, guaranteed this disaster as final. I don’t blame them at all; all I wanted was, “I am sorry. I made that stupid call in theatre,” not “Let’s hide the truth to the best we can; the world must not know the truth.”
And to add to that insult, the offering of my daughter to be buried in an unmarked grave, paid by them, a hidden secret buried forever, so no one would ever know what took place. Wow, can this get any worse right now? it was like being trapped inside a nightmare that I just could not wake up from or escape.
And now we have a situation with lawyers, courts, and a whole string of bookreading experts, all cashing in on my daughter’s death. Has the world truly gone insane? Have humans lost the will to feel emotions? Can they truly not see what they are doing, how they look? Do they pretend only in life that they can feel and love? What are we doing to ourselves as a planet? Are they really heartless only when it rewards their pocket? What if this happens to them; then what? These were all the questions firing up inside of me. Was I happy? Hell no. I wanted answers now, and I was not
stopping until I found them.
I went through a whole phase of so-called experts who were pitying but blind to what they were doing and how they were adding to the disaster, to the point that one night I had enough. In 1996, I said “Go to hell, all of you, my wife, because of what this was doing to us as a family, to the rest of my family, friends, all in life.” I took my car and just drove.
I had no idea what I was going to do or where I was going, but I had had enough now, that was for sure. “T,” time out, driving around for hours, I finally said that’s it. Prison is my best route. There I can just stay and rot in life, where I will be forgotten.
The outside world is insane. In there I could just be what people were trying to create in me. I came to a police station, where soon enough attention was coming my way. The only words I would speak were just “lock me up. I have done nothing wrong, but if I am to be punished in life, then at least put me in jail.” For my crime, of which I had no idea I had done, hours passed, and not even the police could get through to me.
My father was called; doctors and psychiatrists followed. None could reach me. I was truly lost inside my own world of, “Go away, shut the door, and throw the key away.” And nothing was going to change that any more. I really came to learn that life on earth was true hell; the key is to climb out of that hell to the heaven of a life: a better life. We all have it in us; it takes real situations to teach us this truth. I ended up being locked up for three months while doctors had fun giving or trying to pin labels on me, forgetting entirely what lead to all of this. How bizarre people’s memory can be so selective.
I lost the whole meaning of what love was and stands for – what it feels like. I had left my wife and my second daughter, who was born the year following this event.
And to add real value to pain, where they locked me up was right next door to where it all began, the last place I had seen my daughter breathing. Life is wow the surrounding world people have become so overwhelming and attacking me I am sure of this.
One day I was given release to go out alone. I wandered around and saw the building and walked up to it. The door had security like they do, but how strange at this point – I rang the buzzer, and someone just opened the door. They did not come to check who I was or what I wanted, so I walked in. I found the very room where it had all happened and went inside. No one was there. It was empty, so I sat down by the wall next to the bed, just crying, remembering that day, trying to work out why. Why me? What did I do that was so bad in life? Someone please just answers me.
After some time, a nurse came into the room. She was looking for something. She said, “Are you OK? What’s wrong? Can I help you?” It took me some time to even speak to her because I was trying so hard to compose myself to speak.
When I did, I said, “I am OK,” but she could see that was not true and persisted to know what was wrong. I told her about that night, this room, and why I was there, how someone let me in, and stupidly thinking this woman would not judge this, I said I came from next door. Well that was it, alarm bells rang in her head, and all security was coming at me at once.
I was considered to be the most dangerous man on earth, but hold up. Is it me, or did no one follow what I am saying?
So, I just got up and left the building, causing no harm or stress to anyone but myself. I got out on to the green field outside, where I could see charging towards me between 10 and 20 security doctors and nurses fired and ready for battle. By now, I was thinking, oh my god, what is wrong with these people? OK, bring it on. You want war? Let’s rumble.
I have nothing to lose right now. And the biggest battle was on. It took all of them and a good 20 minutes to bring me down; that’s how much I had had enough of this situation. You want to misread situations one after the other and keep punishing me? Then it’s to the death, was my vision by now.
They jabbed me with their beautiful tranquillizers and got me wrapped up nice in their cell, where they kept me dosed up for a few days. By the time I was released from that place, I had every label known to man in that field, and my armory of drugs. They were so kind to give these to me.
One wonders if all who experience the loss of a child must endeavor to go through this. Really, if that’s support how does things like that help anyone, is this what a caring planet looks like? One can only wonder after experiencing such.
Over the course of the years to follow, the CRF had begun. It was the one thing that gave me vision and reason to continue, and yes, of course, my second daughter and my son, who I lost all contact with following my daughter’s death, It was a perfect for unnamed people to make sure that now, it was going to become even harder to see him, It got to the point that I had to make a decision, what with all the fighting in courts with my first ex.
My son was truly in the middle of both parents, who could not see what they were doing to the most important thing in their lives, our son. On my last court battle, I had made my mind up to free him from this pushing and pulling war he was so stuck in the middle of.
I thought of a way to get legal teams back up, and then on the final day, I made an outburst of anger and threw my keys at the judge’s head, knowing for sure that this would end this pain that my son was going through because of his blind parents. Yes, I was about to lose another, but for me, his sanity meant so much more to me than anything else right then. I did not want him to experience this harsh reality of life in the ways that I had.
For me, my ex now would forget about me and our little war of love for our son, and when I am out of the picture, she can re-build her life, our son, and her new man, and be a happy family. To me, that seemed like the perfect answer for my son. He would grow up being happy and stress-free.
What I was feeling had to be removed and hidden. I made my choice to help my son, not punish him. My son was what was important. I found out later twelve years later when I found him, that yes, I made the wrong choice, even though I thought I was doing what was best for him. Truth is, I never imagined this, but how could I see that at the time, with what was going on?
What pulled me through this crisis?
“CRF” – Child Remembrance Fund that I founded as a Registered Charity.
What did I learn?
I learned many skills in business and the charity field – organizing, managing, and knowing that life is what we make it. I learned that with the correct communication, you can achieve anything in life.
Did I meet a person?
I met many people in the charity field who were willing to help me, in the private sector field and celebrity field.
Did you have an idea that changed everything?
“CRF.” I founded it so that I could help other families going through the same not feel how I did. I tried to give those babies/children and their families a place they could be remembered, so that they did not feel so alone, so cut off from the rest of the world.
I had a real exception to how we can remember war heroes, but all the children could not be remembered in a similar way, the forgotten soldiers of life who battled for their lives, taken so soon and short. They never chose the battle but did it anyway. A war hero, with all due respect to their bravery, had a choice in what they did.
It does have the tendency to make you feel this way. No one understands; no one cares, because of their sheer avoidance of you because they don’t know what to say.
What was my strategy?
I gave myself meaning to show that it was not for nothing. It did not happen for no reason, so I made a reason to help push me through daily. I grew ideas that my daughter was communicating with me, guiding me in how and what I should do. Was it real? Yes, it felt real to me.
What was my belief that helped me be here today?
I knew if I did not create a way, I would end up being forgotten. Maybe I would be on the streets, living or dead, in some darkened alley one day, feeling that no one cared. My daughter’s name and memory would no longer exist, and her death would have had no meaning. The world, the very next day, would have forgotten us all. Friends disappeared, family treated us different, just because they did not know what to say. They forgot how that would make us feel, what it would do to us. They never gave it a second thought, that we were being punished a second time around. First there was her death and a month of not being able to lay her to rest, and now everyone else was punishing us by leaving.
What was life like before the crisis?
Right before all hell broke loose… We were excited. I was excited that my first daughter was coming. I had a son, so there was naturally the stress of preparation, but life was good. Life, for me, was beginning again, especially after the four previous years, right up until this crisis time. I had been fighting to see my son through courts, so to me, it was like being given a second chance, and what I might have messed up with the first time around. Life was good and happy.
What did I do to turn things around?
What did I do to go from where I was to where I am today? I motivated myself daily, using the new Registered Charity I had founded to help families and help those forgotten ones not to be forgotten.
I gradually built up a team, I made contact with families throughout the UK via the Sun newspaper, I wrote an article, but I never heard anything. At a point when I was giving up and losing my mind, I briefly ended up in hospital for three months, locked away. Letters began to pile in from all over the UK. Many came from abroad. I had not realized that the Sun goes around the world when I wrote for it. It was like a miracle had just happened. The Dunblane disaster happened around this time in my history.
What did I do to get over that situation?
For some reason, starting a charity was never going to be easy. There was so much red tape with the charity commission and local governments, and many other situations were surely going to make me work to make all happen. This did not discourage me any more. I knew people were supporting my idea. Families were behind me, so all the red tape they could give me just made me say, “OK, let’s try a new approach,” until finally, each red tape was coming down.
It seemed to drive me so much. I kept in focus for who and why I was doing it, and that kept me going day by day, day in and day out.
I had reason and passion. My communication skills were not the best, but in no way, was I quitting. I had nothing to lose any more. I had just lost everything. All that could happen was my life being taken.
What did I do to get through that situation? What did I do to turn it around?
When I started with just myself and an idea, I learned to get myself an A Team.
What action did I take? Who did I go to learn from?
I started to remember back in 1991. I had already had experience in the charity field after 1991, organizing from nothing to a successful event Fun Run, a mini marathon, where fairground entertainment and many other attractions were present. I managed to become so resourceful in how I did things, how I got the things I needed, that most of what I got was all free. I learned a real knack for selling my idea. I learned to be smart and cheeky all at the same time and to pull in my entire street to help me. I raised a good £2,180.00 for Great Ormond Street Hospital, where ex-Pro Boxer John Conteh met up with me, and we presented to the hospital.
I was learning, from a time before, what I had already done in life. I did this when I was around 20 years old. I had always had a passion for helping those who could not help themselves. I would ask, “What if that was me?” and that always helped.
What skills did I get?
The only skills that I had at the time were a degree in computer system building and information technology and a merit in web design. The rest was life and experience and a DJ outfit I ran in the late 1980’s to 1990. Everything else was experience by trial and error. If it did not work, I would try another way until it did. This was how I saw things.
Nowadays, I am fully aware that experience stands better than any bit of paper. That’s all theory and research work, no real field training.
I value all trial and error moments, for there, I truly learn the best and greatest in life did not care I had no paper; I knew what was more real.
What did I physically do?
Give a description and provide a pathway to show others who have been in similar situations as me, or are going through them right now.
Find a reason to change. Find what you’re passionate about, and once you have that in focus remind yourself of that always. I was lucky in the sense that I created in my life that my daughter was still there with me, talking to me daily, telling me the best solutions. Yes, many did not understand this, and I gave up ever even trying to tell them or explain what was going on. Would they understand? Would you?
That’s why I knew to just continue. Jay, don’t let others opinions and ideas interrupt what you are doing because it’s the greatest thing you can do right now, and you will make it through.
That’s how I explained it to myself. So, you have to find a way and lock in your mind what your truth is right now, and just go do it.
It has value and meaning, and so many can benefit from this and make their lives better by not feeling so alone and cut off from all they knew, like I did.
How is my life better today because I went through this crisis?
How am I stronger?
I am the strongest person I know today. To me, there is no one stronger. It takes real courage to lose your only daughter, then the world punishing you by leaving, and then go through all that. Then there were the countless times I nearly died at stupid times that I was going through, where I got drunk, started feeling sorry for myself, remembering this time in my life, and trying to end my life because I had lost what I had wanted for so long.
I got to a point where I tried to gas myself in my car, and would have succeeded if it were not for my father, who I love dearly. He was the only one who had my back, always. He went on the hunt for me with the police. They looked at my daughter’s grave, but I was not there. Then, out of nowhere, he said to the police, “I know where he is,” and came straight to me. Two minutes later and I would have been gone. It was not that he knew where I was; something guided him that night to my location. He stayed with me in resuscitation as I fought for my life.
Many people say that taking your own life is a coward’s way out. I say trying losing your own child, and tell me how you believe that would make you feel and be.
That’s why no one should ever be judged in life, as you just don’t know the history that leads another to make a mistake. That’s all it is – a low point in life – and you make a bad choice from it.
It also prepared me for the year that I came back from my journey in the Middle East, all for love. When I returned, my sister, Sharon, had taken her life. Seven days into my return, after going missing to the UK for a month, I snuck out of the country without anyone knowing but my sister and some on Facebook, like my dear friend Matthew, a great support and legend.
So, my daughter’s death played a part here, in a way. I did not look at death any more in a final way, or that there was not a reason for these things. There’s always a reason for growth and the opportunity to become someone so much stronger.
So, at my sister’s death, I was not a falling wreck any more. I had learned to deal with death in the greatest way and still be positive. Yes, it’s sad, but if we dwell in that sadness, ask how long are we going to let it continue to destroy our lives. Go through the grief, feel the sadness, cry, remember, and don’t take so long to start to rebuild your life. Now, find a good reason to make that person who died proud of you. Who shall you become?
Am I more compassionate?
I am in many ways. I know I have a heart of gold. I don’t care what others think as much as I once did. I have learned from all of this many different kinds of personality, good and bad.
I am a person who, if I meet someone and they turn out to be so negative but were not at first, will soon move away from that kind of energy in a person, not because I hate them, as I hate no one in life, but because I look in terms of: will they help my path my life? If no is the answer, I allow a certain amount of time in the hope that they will change.
I give advice. If they take the advice and still do the same, then I am gone because my advice is wasted on them, when someone else could do with that more, who would accept it and apply it. To never hate is hard because others don’t understand this as well as I do.
Am I more hopeful because I know I made it through that, so I can make it through anything?
YES! WOW! Yes! Apart from being dead yourself, I am not sure what you could feel that is as crippling as losing your only daughter and child.
I am proud of who I am and what I have become. I ask myself so much; Would I change anything in the past? My answer is surprisingly always no. It was the reason of my growth. If I could explain in simple terms how I see it: my daughter gave up her life to make sure her father makes it in life. Can you see how special that makes her and her reason for being to me? For me, I knew she was sent to change my life, and that she did, in the greatest way possible.
There was a time I was not such a nice guy, always fighting, getting in trouble with the law, taking drugs, and destroying my life. I can tell you, that is what I was doing. So, I had to learn something really hard and find a way to get through it. And that I did. For today, I am back in music as MasterMataz and now running BeatPulse Media Limited, EasyGetMe Records Limited, BeatPulse TV. And branded under me are a back list of over 400 songs to my name, so many rubbish songs, I can look back and see how my music making has changed.
I have vision. I have goals. I am driven to continue.
For I would not be who I am today if I had not gone through that and found a way forward. This is who I am today.
Without that crisis and fighting my way from the bottom of the ocean back to the land again, without going back to what I loved in life the most, music, I would not have made myself better than when I first started out.
If I can come through something like this, so can anyone. You just have to find the reason, and then go at it. Don’t stop to think too much; keep focusing and go.
People will delay you; they will try to change you. You have to do what’s right for you, and that’s it.
Life is not easy. That is for sure, but are you going to continue that way? Or are you going to get up and say, “I count. I matter,” and change what you don’t like in life?
Because it will begin the minute, you see it and decide to change it. No one can do it for you. Was anyone changing it for me? Did anyone bring my daughter home to me? No. They did the opposite and walked away. Just ask yourself what you are going to choose. What’s it going to be? I have got a skill set today that I would not have had if it were not for that situation. It made me have to grow. Just look at all the skills I have now; all came from this time in my life.
Am I happier today?
Yes! I tell you, I love and value life more than I ever have. I wake up, and I spring up most days with the need to get to work on something. I am happy many of the people in my life are so happy.
I don’t hang out with drug culture or any kind of bad friends. I have not been in trouble with the law since I ended up in jail. My son came shortly after, and that changed a lot also. I find that no one judges me for who I was, because it’s about who I became. I never chose to stay that way. That counts.
I live in contrast to what life was like. I appreciate the simple things in life, like flowers, just looking at such beauty, seeing people doing wonderful things, appreciating the sunrise and sunset, inspiring people, and meeting new people who are doing the greatest things in life.
It’s because of what I went through. Hell was where I visited for a while, and then I came back. I kept hitting the ground so much, but I never ever stayed down. I always got up and fought back at whatever life wanted to through my way. Always, I would never stay down for long. I caught my breath and up I got, stronger than before I went down.
When you watch the Rocky films, watch how Rocky just would not stay down and just kept coming at you, your worst nightmare, never giving up! How that inspired me as a person was beautiful, and it’s how I came to be about life.
How am I better?
Mentally, I am like, oh yeah baby, give it your best shot because I have been to hell and back. What can you do that I have not gone through? I laugh at this so much. Emotionally, I care more than ever. I know how to love. I can say I love you to my friends because love is important. OK, so it’s not the same as when you’re deeply in love with someone, but isn’t it just great when you know you’re loved in life?
Physically, I am in better shape than I have been in years. There is still room for improvement; that’s why I joined boot camp, with soldiers on my case, pushing me forward.
Spiritually, wow, do I see life different. I meditate daily; not a day goes by that I don’t meditate. To me, it’s important, and even though meditation to many is misconceived and thought of as for relaxation and keeping you calm thanks to media that are not fully educated in this field, I get something different from meditating. That’s a whole other story, but yes, I am a better person today because I went through this crisis.
Even though I gained much from it, I would not want to go through it again. I don’t want anyone else to go through it, and I wish I to show you what helped me, what got me through the toughest time in my life. How bad did it have to become and what methods was I doing? What drove me; what kept me going? I would love to share that with you, as well as how this can be applied to any situation in life.
I just happened to get the worse kind, but now it’s a blessing. All of my greatest lessons have been learned through the entire process. I don’t look at death like many do. If something bad happens, I look to find the good inside that bad, because there is good if you’re looking close enough. I still make wrong decisions, even today. I am not perfect, but I am perfection forever evolving.
How did it actually serve me in the end?
I guess, to look at me now, who I am, what I have become, is amazing. I am no longer in the place that I once was. All of the things I learned were skills to make my mission happen. I had dissolved the charity by 2004, as a new situation was occurring in life with my second daughter, and she needed me. So, I let the charity dissolve.
A new mission had begun. My second daughter was alive, and she needed me most. I can measure the distance of then and now and between. With that measurement progress, I can see clearly all my great moments and how I overcame such tough, life-changing things. Look at what I was doing; the key was that I was learning. I was not making a bad choice and doing the same again. Sometimes that has to happen, but it ends when you have learned it well.
We go through so many tough times in life, but it is up to us, individually, to change what we don’t like and don’t expect, or not to blame another for that. People come into your life every single day, and they and every situation in life are mere tests, here to help you grow. If you can see that, you will find true value in yourself and every person on the planet.
Every situation has a silver lining once you can see the truth.
I ended up travelling the world – Europe and Middle East mainly. The rest of the planet has yet to meet me. I learn so much from different cultures. Both the good and the bad have such value in my life. I don’t see people by culture, colour, or creed; that has no meaning for me. We are all the same, basically. We have two arms, two legs, two eyes, ten fingers and toes, one head, one brain, one nose, and one heart. We think, we feel emotions, we can speak words, we can cry, and we can laugh. Oh my, I kind of see a pattern emerging here. Could it be true? We are one and that same species?
Now, I have cornered in on the most basic functions that make up people on this planet. The only difference is an ocean that divides us, and with today’s technology, that divide has gone.
We may speak different languages. We have tools and teachers to help us learn theirs, but the most obvious language there is has been known to man and woman from the beginning of time. Those are the language of love and the language of music, which can gear them both together. Do you see the beauty in that?
Here is where I was, here is how I got through, here is what shifted my life, and
here is what you can do also.
If you look at my artist name, MasterMataz, I will explain some theory behind such a name and how it came to be. When we look at history and that name, the Master, what comes to mind? We look at such masters and guru, like Buddha, Jesus, Gandhi, and many others, a list too long to mention, So now, I admit that I 100% make no claim to being such a person, but the meaning of my name is master of my own life, my own journey, all that I went through, all that I battle, and how I came through it all.
Life is waiting for the good that is within all humans on earth, to blossom life, a beautiful flow in its greatest moment in life.
Life can be tough; there is no other way to say it. I cannot and I shall not delude anyone in that. But I ask you, how bad is this situation? Is it really as bad as you think? Is that just an emotion? What can I do to turn it around? Shall I stay like this? What can I do? What or who lead me to this point?
Look at my story; put yourself one year, or even five or ten years in the future. Will life be so bad? What can you see?
Be careful who you cast blame on and where. Be mindful of your words about yourself, as best as you can. It’s not easy, so if you notice anything going backwards, don’t beat yourself up over it, say “OK, I see what I was just doing again.” Refocus; now, get back to the mission of your life. To become aware, to observe what you’re doing, is to change the perception you have, and there you are winning your life over whatever bad situation has occurred.
And never listen to anyone or anything that says you cannot do it, because it’s so not true. During my journey, I took all the darkest moments of hell, and to show you how I am not in hell, I am here telling you my story in the hope that this, too, can help you and guide you through. Whatever you’re going through in life, know this my friend: it is not permanent unless you make it permanent. You can change it at any point and time that you’re ready to do so.
Be great in life, be kind to all you meet, and give compassion. Don’t walk past a homeless person on the street and pretend you don’t see them, as if they don’t exist. If you have a small amount of money, help; don’t judge.
suggest you buy some food, give that food to them, and don’t judge them. My story could have ended up there for sure, even though I did very briefly. If you feel they will waste it on drugs or alcohol, use that money and do the best thing you can. Buy food and water. They do exist, and they do matter, just like you do. I leave you with this last thought and insight. Alcohol and drugs is a survival tool to a homeless person in the cold winter nights. A decision between life and death.
Be so damn epic at whatever you do in life, that no one will ever forget you came here, and you made a difference to someone, somewhere. I Am grateful to Tony Robbins who is a great human being, who helped bring this book to the surface in me, Via one of his talks.